Nowhere Man

Ever feel like the edge of the world is near

Ever feel like you’re walking on a path leading nowhere

Ever feel like every step you take is leading you backwards

-Maybe I should sleep-

You see, I called God last night

He never answered me

I don’t think he likes me very much

I just wanted him to answer one question

All I ask of him was one answer

Will she ever feel the same way that I do?

I catch myself saying words I don’t believe in anymore. I love you; I miss you; I hate you. Words that do not fit in my language anymore. These are words I use to say with passion, now I whisper them whenever I hear you are out in town with him. Maybe I am still missing you, or maybe I am missing what it was like to be with you. Sure, I can go get another one, anyone can. But you made me feel like a God, that is when I realized I was not one. Is he God now? Questions I should not ask but I ask them anyway. I should not care but I do anyways, it is the hell I put myself through. The torment comes when people ask me “what happened with you and her? Wasn’t she the one?”

Yeah, she was the one, now she is one with someone else. Now she needs him, wants him, and I will never be him. The worse is when you miss people you should not be missing. But here I am telling myself I miss you because I am lonely as fuck. Let us be honest, what did you do for me? Yeah here I go, saying things I don’t mean. I love you; I miss you; I hate you. Maybe we were just too young, too naïve, too stupid to think we could ever make it. Maybe I knew it all along. Maybe I was foolish and blind to not see the truth. Maybe you were my bad religion.

I called god last night

He never answered me

I think he is afraid of me

I think he knows I am ready to end him

God knows what he did

He gave me something that he knew he would take away

Now I sit here, telling you and God

I love you; I miss you; I hate you

-Maybe I should sleep-