Never had a chance to Bloom

Hey, you

Yes you

 why did you ghost me?

I’m talking to you

Why did you ghost me?

 Why did you wait for me to spill my feelings out for you to leave me?

Why the fuck did you not leave me alone?

I did not even know you existed

But there you went strolling into my life

I never asked for it

Honestly, I never asked for none of it

But I thought you were different

I didn’t think you would do me like that

Like what huh?

Yeah of course you would ask that

Of course, you’ll play dumb and innocent

Its all my fault, right?

I thought too much of it right?

It was never like that right?

I should have seen it coming right?

It was all fun right?

Fun for who?

I sure did not have any fun

All I had was someone tell me everything I ever wanted to hear

It was all good though

 you played it well

You learned the game well

 The game comes easy to you

You are very efficient at it

You’re like Kobe in the fourth quarter -clutch

But I lied

I did have fun

When I thought it was real

I thought all of it was real

I thought it was going somewhere

But shit, you sure do switch up fast

When the heat got turned on

You ran out of the kitchen

Except you forget

 you lit the match

You created the narrative

Remember all those sunsets we watched together

Remember all those walks on the beach

Remember the new places we discovered

Remember how your eyes use to penetrate me

Remember how weak you made me when you touched me

Remember all those secrets you told me

Remember the things we confessed to each other

So, I apologize for taking it too far

Is that what you want to hear?

What exactly did you want?

You probably don’t even know

I know what I wanted

I wanted you

The you, you showed me the first time

Not this new you

This new you

This new you broke me

Faster than a bullet

This new you chopped my knees and let me fall

 I never saw it coming

Was I stupid, naïve or immature?

Did you and your friends have a good laugh about me?

Did you celebrate at how well you played me?

I hope you told them how well you lied to me

You used to say you couldn’t wait to hold me

Now you ignore me

You couldn’t wait to text me

Now you duck your head when you see me

I hope you got everything you wanted

I hope it was all worth it

You gave me a painful lesson to learn

I’m not too proud to say I begged

I begged for your attention

You had me in the palm of your hands

Did you feel guilty?

Is that why you ghosted me?

Is that why you went silent on me?

I thought about deleting your number

I can’t do it

I’m trying to build a backbone

I want to feel the pain of seeing your number everyday

I want to have the urge to call you

I want to find the strength to not call you

I want to be in control

I’m still here picking myself up from the floor

My broken pieces are all over the place

I will pick them up

In due time

For now

I’m on the floor wondering

Why did you do me like that?

14 thoughts on “Never had a chance to Bloom

    1. And also I really wanted to comment on your recent posts (I understand why it is not available)
      They have been incredible to read and really moving, it gave me inspiration to write some more. Just wanted to let you know while I have the chance


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