Jane’s Diary

Session #4

Dear diary,

I have finally confessed to you what really happened to the twins…. on that faithful day.

I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me

For I have already forgiven myself……On that same day

Tiffany still had more questions that she wanted answered.

Tiffany: How did you ever recover from such a tragic event?

Me: I had no choice but to be strong.

Tiffany: what about your parents?

Me: They turned to drugs and alcohol which destroyed what little family we had left. Dad started drinking heavily which led him to be as abusive as can be. Mom also turned to the bottle since it was the only thing that could numb the pain from the abuse.

Tiffany: did he abuse you?

Me: Yes, so I made sure I was only home to go to bed.

Tiffany: Where were you the rest of the time?

Me: Hopping from house to house. Since the neighbors had sympathy for what happened to our family, they allowed me to eat at their houses.

Tiffany: when did the drugs come in?

Me: when they became immune to the bottle, they tried other ways of numbing the pain. They turned to cocaine and heroin quickly. Both of them ended up losing the high-ranking jobs that they had and all the money that came with it. We went from living comfortably to being served eviction notices. Not long after that, dad left my mother and I to survive on our own. For my mother, survival was just getting high. How she got the money to buy the drugs? I rather not say

Tiffany: Jane I have to tell you; your story is the complete opposite of most kids that go here. This is incredible to hear; I think I can get my office to work some things out so that we can make sure to get you all the accommodations you need.

Me: I have not had someone help me in such a long time, I forgot how it feels

Tiffany: Jane I must ask; how did you get here? By that I mean how did you find the funds to travel so far?

Jane: money saved up from side jobs I had during previous summers

Another lie I told to tiffany. I found my way to New York, by stealing money that my mother saved up. I took three thousand dollars that she had hidden in her bedroom. Truth be told, I don’t feel bad about it. Lords knows how she managed to have three thousand dollars or what she did for it.

Tiffany: wow when they hear your story, they will be rushing to meet you

Jane: who will be?

Tiffany: I will be right back

Tiffany left me but she did not tell me where she was going. I sat patiently with my phone charging watching her go in and out of the room. She would come in look at the computer write some things down, then get on the phone and then leave. This whole ordeal took about 3 hours before she came back to me and sat down.

Tiffany: Alright so I have some things solved. I talked to a couple of higher ups that I know, and I have a few things for you. So, I was able to get you in the best dorms on campus, you will have to share with two other people, but they are our best. Another thing I have is that we will have you work in these offices so you can make a little bit of pocket money, you will be working close to me. After hearing your story, I want to look after you and make sure you stay on the right track. I will be personally working on extending your scholarship to cover your whole stay here. You will probably need to tell your story again in front of what I called a mini board, it’s like two to three people that think they are important.

Me: you did all of this for me?

Tiffany: yes

Me: Thank you, I am at a loss for words. How can I ever repay you?

Tiffany: The only thing I want back from you, is that you succeed no matter what

There was something nurturing, gentle and just special about Tiffany that I could never explain. Her eyes told me she felt sorry for me. She saw a helpless child in front of her and could not turn her back on me.

She personally walked me to my dorm

That was special to me, along the way she showed me everything I would need to know around campus. I found out later that it was not her job to do all of that for me, that she went out of her way to make sure that I was safe.

That was special to me. The dorm was the size of a penthouse suit you see on the magazines; it was so elegant. You could tell only the rich kids get these kinds of dorms, they had everything in there that I could ever want. My room might have been as big as our hometown, I never dreamed that I would have a room that size. Tiffany showed me around what would be my new place. We exchanged contact information if I was to ever need anything. She told me when I would start working in her office and how to be prepared.

I was given two weeks to settle in and get to know the campus. Every single day I left my dorm to go on an adventure in campus to know where everything would be. Since my roommates did not move in yet, I took the opportunity to set the place up how I would like. I also found a safe place to hide the rest of the three thousand dollars I stole for safekeeping.

A week before I was to start working, I received a call from Tiffany that I was not expecting. We have kept in touch over the past week about me settling in and how I was taking everything in, but I did not expect this. She told me to get dressed and be ready, she would be coming to get me. I asked for what exactly? But she did not say. She arrived about 30 minutes after she called, I let her in my dorm pleasantly.

Tiffany: show me your closet

Me: why? And hi by the way

She laughed and went inside my room

Tiffany: just as I expected, you don’t have shit in your closet

Me: These are my best clothes

Tiffany: Toss them, we are going to get new ones.

Tiffany took me all around New York that day, we went from store to store. She bought me all kinds of clothes, shoes and anything else I wanted. We shopped until we could not hold anything else in our hands, it was the best day of my life. She showed me everything New York was about, I never had anyone take this much interest in me. She took me to a restaurant where we ate, laughed and communicated on a deep level.

I found out things about Tiffany that day. She was in her thirties, had a master’s degree that she got from the same Saint Johns she worked at, she was married with a son who was about 6 at the time. Her twenties consisted of school and working side jobs, she graduated at the top of her class. I was really impressed by her; she was everything I ever wanted to be later on in life. She was extremely well dressed, highly well spoken and strong like a leader.

We talked for hours at that restaurant before we departed, we headed back to campus. We took an odd way back to my dorm.

Me: why are we taking this way?

Tiffany: honestly this would be an extremely bad look. Me and you with shopping bags, it is just not a good look.

Me: oh? I think I understand. It will be between us

Tiffany: Thank you I had a feeling you would

We got back to my dorm and I could not stop thanking her for everything. I was as giddy as a schoolgirl, putting the bags down in my room. I was as happy as could be, still thanking her endlessly. I really appreciated everything she did for me, she did not have to at all. Tiffany stood by the door just smiling, watching me be happy made her happy and it was apparent on her face.

Me: You really did not have to do any of this for me, I really appreciate you.

Tiffany: I told you before I just want to make sure you are taken care of

Tiffany came close to me, put her hands on my face and proceeded to kiss me

To say I was stunned would be an understatement, I felt frozen and numb. I could not move, but I could hear both of our heartbeats. I could tell she was just as scared as I was, but she did not stop. She kept kissing me……

I started thinking about the first time I met her. The day she saw me playing with those sliding doors, the same day I sat in her office telling her all about my life. The same day she took care of everything I would need in college. I thought about the day we spent and how much fun I had with her. I started thinking about how safe I felt with her, how warm she was to me.

So, diary

I kissed her back. With passion I did not even know I had; my body was pumping with adrenaline. All the emotions I held in for so very long rushed out to our lips. The good, the bad and the ugly all came out of me as tears streamed down from my eyes. She pulled back to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Tiffany: I will take care of you

Me: I know you will

We continued to kiss

                                                                                                                           Jane/Tiffany

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