Let’s make this unusual

Not in a lame way. No not in come over and I will try to “run game on you” kind of way. I have already learned that two bodies laying on top of each other does not equal a connection. So, I do not need sexual stimulation from you for that only last as long as I lust for you. What I need from you is dialogue, do not mistaken that for I will listen to any randomness you come with. No, I do not want to know how “woke” you are, that can stay at the door. No, I do need to know how down you are with the “culture” or how “hip” you are with the “movement”. Please keep that for those that will just agree with you and nod along without challenging you.

 I can feel I am already putting a lot of pressure on this, probably from the fact that it is difficult to explain what I want. I also know I am coming on too strong, but I am tired of being scared. We only have so much time on in this life, so why waste it being mute.

No, I do need to have sex with you, for a matter of fact I do not even need to touch you. I need mental and spiritual stimulation from you. Those shallow conversations men have with you just so they can hurry you to bed, no I am not here for that. Yes, I know you have heard of a version of this before “I am not like any other guy”. Truth be told I kind of am, I have lusted for so long because I thought it was the thing to do. Being cool getting as many women as possible just for the sake of talking about it, all that got me was a bunch of high fives from other men. I was wired improperly based on what I saw, what I heard and what I was taught. No that is not an excuse for how I talked to women, treated them or tried to play them. I was just trying to get mines and mines alone.

I want you to come thru, in the sense that I want you to come so we cook together. I want you to come so we can speak with substance, we can talk about all our hopes and dreams. We can talk about our fears and nightmares about life as we grow older in this world that we have yet to understand. Do not take this as I want to marry you or meet your family, no I do want to buy you the biggest house and have children with you. I want a night where we can get to know each other, I want a night where we can look past what the world tells us we should be. But we can talk about what we want to be, what we wish we could be and what we have yet to be.

I want this to be unusual in the sense that, I want this to be a new normal. To be able to converse with someone without the attempt of trying to be on top of them. After you leave, I want to crave you in that I want to miss your spirit and not your body. Instead of missing your lips, I want to miss the words that came out of your mouth. I want to miss the secrets you shared with me, instead of missing the things you said you would do to me.

You might laugh at this, but it is worth it, you might be scared of this but it is worth it, you might even never talk to me again but it is worth it to tell you this. For I want to do to you with many men in your life have failed to do, which is talk to you as a human.

No, I do not want to marry you, I do not want to have children with you, no I do want to spend the rest of my life with you.

 I just want you to come thru for one night, where we can make this abnormally normal.

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